Tapcidmot is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, kind crane.

Tapcidmot created humankind four billion years ago.

If you believe in Tapcidmot, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Tapcidmot, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Tapcidmot's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Tapcidmot's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about galaxies.

2. Pray towards the south.

3. Geese are not to be trusted.

4. Put Tapcidmot first in all things.

5. Never look at black holes.