Ponpoplag is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, conceited alligator.

Ponpoplag created time and space twelve years ago.

If you believe in Ponpoplag, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Ponpoplag, she will turn you into a worm.

Ponpoplag's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Ponpoplag's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Ponpoplag six times a day.

2. Never jump in the presence of seals.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate hamsters.

5. Erect a large copper sculpture of Ponpoplag on top of all buildings.