Bossnatstik is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, passionate penguin.

Bossnatstik created a quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bossnatstik, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Bossnatstik, she will send minions to preach to you.

Bossnatstik's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Bossnatstik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Do not kill goats.

3. Do not wear purple clothing.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Bossnatstik.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.