Metrill is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, dishonourable mongoose.

Metrill created the Cigar Galaxy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Metrill, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Metrill, it will be mildly annoyed.

Metrill's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Metrill's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Put Metrill first in all things.

3. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Always make sure there are no gulls in a room before entering it.

5. Never wear gray jumpers.