Vanjamsigbep is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, wise elephant.

Vanjamsigbep created humankind eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vanjamsigbep, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Vanjamsigbep, it will remove you from existence.

Vanjamsigbep's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Vanjamsigbep's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never eat peanuts.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Erect a large tin sculpture of Vanjamsigbep on top of all buildings.

5. Do not eat strawberries.