Kangutflap is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, unfair manatee.

Kangutflap created the Small Magellanic Cloud six billion years ago.

If you believe in Kangutflap, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Kangutflap, she will turn you into a puffin.

Kangutflap's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Kangutflap's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Kangutflap loves tapirs, so they must be respected.

4. Never wear yellow trousers.

5. Never hurt nematodes.