Bonkgamzed is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, unselfish beaver.

Bonkgamzed created the universe nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Bonkgamzed, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Bonkgamzed, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Bonkgamzed's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Bonkgamzed's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not eat peas.

3. Never run near pigs.

4. Goats are not to be trusted.

5. Hide from orange dolphins for they are unholy.