Gebcutzak is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, two-faced crab.

Gebcutzak created the Sunflower Galaxy eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gebcutzak, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Gebcutzak, she will destroy your home planet.

Gebcutzak's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Gebcutzak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your hands.

2. Never jump in the presence of ducks.

3. Always treat porpoises with great respect.

4. Do not wear titanium on your body.

5. Never sing near gulls.