Fodjabgan is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, emotional jaguar.

Fodjabgan created a strange quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fodjabgan, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Fodjabgan, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Fodjabgan's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Fodjabgan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. You must pray to Fodjabgan six times a day.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not dye your hair fawn.