Xencatgid is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, cheerful tortoise.

Xencatgid created humankind eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xencatgid, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Xencatgid, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Xencatgid's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Xencatgid's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Do not bounce in public.

4. Never mention goats.

5. Do not commit murder.