Homcarfar is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, humane dryad.

Homcarfar created light eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Homcarfar, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Homcarfar, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Homcarfar's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Homcarfar's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear brown.

2. Never mention squirrels.

3. Do not speak about limes.

4. Do not eat melons.

5. Do not take Homcarfar's name in vain.