Gebpakwap is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, emotional mouse.

Gebpakwap created humanity three million years ago.

If you believe in Gebpakwap, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Gebpakwap, it will destroy your favourite star.

Gebpakwap's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Gebpakwap's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about cell theory.

2. Never mention otters.

3. Never eat figs.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Gebpakwap on top of all buildings.