Loophinfly is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, happy dugong.

Loophinfly created the planet Jupiter two billion years ago.

If you believe in Loophinfly, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Loophinfly, it will destroy your favourite star.

Loophinfly's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Loophinfly's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about tomatoes.

2. Never skip near snakes.

3. Do not shave your arms.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Doves are unholy and should not be approached.