Dabtonknak is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, able cobra.

Dabtonknak created bats seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dabtonknak, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Dabtonknak, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Dabtonknak's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Dabtonknak's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never feed rice to horses while wearing mauve shirts.

3. Never mention turtles.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.