Gomwaddad is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, caring lobster.

Gomwaddad created humankind eight million years ago.

If you believe in Gomwaddad, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Gomwaddad, she will send you a sign.

Gomwaddad's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Gomwaddad's Holy Commandments

1. Rats are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Do not kill squirrels.

4. Never eat garlic.

5. Never talk about amino acids.