Mobmapster is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, weak tapir.

Mobmapster created vertebrates eight million years ago.

If you believe in Mobmapster, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Mobmapster, it will turn you into a rock.

Mobmapster's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Mobmapster's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Always wear orange.

3. Never hurt shrews.

4. Never write about nebulae.

5. Do not listen to music.