Afnurtetti is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, selfish dingo.

Afnurtetti created everything that exists six million years ago.

If you believe in Afnurtetti, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Afnurtetti, he will turn you into a mouse.

Afnurtetti's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Afnurtetti's Holy Commandments

1. Put Afnurtetti first in all things.

2. Worship no other gods but Afnurtetti.

3. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

4. Never paint your back violet.

5. Never talk about fire.