Hunwotpadsagomin Bamlakdag is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, all-powerful hydra.

Hunwotpadsagomin Bamlakdag created a bottom quark four years ago.

If you believe in Hunwotpadsagomin Bamlakdag, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Hunwotpadsagomin Bamlakdag, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Hunwotpadsagomin Bamlakdag's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Hunwotpadsagomin Bamlakdag's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never think ill of sick voles.

3. Always make sure there are no goats in a building before entering it.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.