Farnbonlag is a god.

She takes the form of a large, merciful hydra.

Farnbonlag created the planet Saturn eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Farnbonlag, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Farnbonlag, she will turn you into a plant.

Farnbonlag's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Farnbonlag's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Hide if six nematodes approach from the south.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Always help hamsters.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.