Tipfabcum is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, bad-tempered centipede.

Tipfabcum created life nine million years ago.

If you believe in Tipfabcum, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Tipfabcum, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Tipfabcum's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Tipfabcum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt otters.

2. Always look after injured snails.

3. Never sing near great tits.

4. Always help cats.

5. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.