Gannartkam is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, contented goblin.

Gannartkam created energy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gannartkam, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Gannartkam, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Gannartkam's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Gannartkam's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Gannartkam must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never talk about nematodes.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never write about black holes.