Van Wegsawmonbot is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, unfair chinchilla.

Van Wegsawmonbot created the planet Venus six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Van Wegsawmonbot, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Van Wegsawmonbot, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Van Wegsawmonbot's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Van Wegsawmonbot's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Van Wegsawmonbot six times a day.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

3. Always look after injured mites.

4. Never go into magenta rooms.

5. You must love Van Wegsawmonbot.