Timkadzak Nurlbegdog is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, impressive gorilla.

Timkadzak Nurlbegdog created dark matter four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Timkadzak Nurlbegdog, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Timkadzak Nurlbegdog, she will strike you with lightening.

Timkadzak Nurlbegdog's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Timkadzak Nurlbegdog's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about amino acids.

2. You must pray to Timkadzak Nurlbegdog nine times a day.

3. Run away if five ants approach from the north.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Always look after injured mites.