Dodfemtof is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, capable donkey.

Dodfemtof created life seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dodfemtof, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Dodfemtof, he will not care.

Dodfemtof's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Dodfemtof's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about amino acids.

2. Run away if four manatees approach from the south.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.