Teentalcem is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, ruthless camel.

Teentalcem created dark matter nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Teentalcem, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Teentalcem, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Teentalcem's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Teentalcem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.