Latlagfad is a god.

She takes the form of a large, idiotic newt.

Latlagfad created Asia five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Latlagfad, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Latlagfad, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Latlagfad's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Latlagfad's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

5. Put Latlagfad first in all things.