Armyarpnak is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, selfish capybara.

Armyarpnak created a quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Armyarpnak, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Armyarpnak, he will be mildly annoyed.

Armyarpnak's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Armyarpnak's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Armyarpnak three times a day.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Armyarpnak.

4. Armyarpnak loves otters, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not trade with those who eat spinach.