Sagvanjop is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, quiet goose.

Sagvanjop created a down quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sagvanjop, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Sagvanjop, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Sagvanjop's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Sagvanjop's Holy Commandments

1. Put Sagvanjop first in all things.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate seals.

5. Always look after injured birds.