Gubkappas is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, smart mongoose.

Gubkappas created the Small Magellanic Cloud two billion years ago.

If you believe in Gubkappas, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Gubkappas, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Gubkappas' most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Gubkappas' Holy Commandments

1. Run away if five hamsters approach from the west.

2. Always wear turquoise.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Always treat manatees with great respect.

5. Do not drink water in magenta rooms.