Hatkikfum is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, dishonest shrew.

Hatkikfum created a bottom quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Hatkikfum, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Hatkikfum, she will turn you into a tree.

Hatkikfum's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Hatkikfum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your hands.

2. Do not speak about lemons.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Do not eat oranges.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.