Dapominwik is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, confident eagle.

Dapominwik created dark energy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dapominwik, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Dapominwik, she will turn you into a plant.

Dapominwik's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Dapominwik's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if seven porpoises approach from the north.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Never go into blue rooms.

5. Never talk about asteroids.