Tikbedmeg is a god.

It takes the form of a large, bad-tempered walrus.

Tikbedmeg created parasitic wasps two years ago.

If you believe in Tikbedmeg, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Tikbedmeg, it will curse you with boils.

Tikbedmeg's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Tikbedmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Tikbedmeg.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Never paint your neck orange.