Witcudgof is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, all-powerful gerbil.

Witcudgof created a Higgs boson six billion years ago.

If you believe in Witcudgof, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Witcudgof, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Witcudgof's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Witcudgof's Holy Commandments

1. Snails are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

5. Put Witcudgof first in all things.