Vanfetlak is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, moody chicken.

Vanfetlak created life nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vanfetlak, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Vanfetlak, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Vanfetlak's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Vanfetlak's Holy Commandments

1. Vanfetlak loves mites, so they must be respected.

2. Always make sure there are no foxes in a building before entering it.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never think ill of sick bats.