Xinpadsin is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, slow owl.

Xinpadsin created light five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xinpadsin, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Xinpadsin, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Xinpadsin's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Xinpadsin's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Xinpadsin's priests.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Always look after injured squirrels.

5. Do not make images of living things.