Shavzakort is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, amazing goose.

Shavzakort created dark matter six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Shavzakort, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Shavzakort, he will turn you into a puffin.

Shavzakort's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Shavzakort's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Shavzakort's priests.

2. Run away if six sheep approach from the south.

3. Do not trade with those who eat parsnips.

4. Run away from magenta doves, for they are unholy.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate ants.