Dunzogjan is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, self-confident hummingbird.

Dunzogjan created the planet Saturn eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dunzogjan, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Dunzogjan, he will come to you in dreams.

Dunzogjan's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Dunzogjan's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed nuts to bats while wearing cyan corsets.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Dunzogjan.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never mention snails.

5. Dunzogjan loves tortoises, so they must be respected.