Somsandtarg Capsawnar is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, smart narwhal.

Somsandtarg Capsawnar created matter five billion years ago.

If you believe in Somsandtarg Capsawnar, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Somsandtarg Capsawnar, it will remove you from existence.

Somsandtarg Capsawnar's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Somsandtarg Capsawnar's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear indigo.

2. Do not drink water in red rooms.

3. You must never eat peas.

4. Do not eat pineapples.

5. Never paint your hands white.