Hamnarced is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, idiotic wombat.

Hamnarced created the Large Magellanic Cloud seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hamnarced, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Hamnarced, it will turn you into a mole.

Hamnarced's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Hamnarced's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never sing in holy places.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Hamnarced.