Tomquimfeb is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, overgenerous beaver.

Tomquimfeb created a strange quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Tomquimfeb, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Tomquimfeb, she will curse you with boils.

Tomquimfeb's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Tomquimfeb's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no sharks in a room before entering it.

2. Always help goats in need.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never think about nebulae.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.