Barnmadlap is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, emotional bat.

Barnmadlap created light nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Barnmadlap, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Barnmadlap, she will turn you into a goat.

Barnmadlap's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Barnmadlap's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Run away from blue pigs, for they are unholy.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Always obey Barnmadlap's priests.