Bafpomgem is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, ruthless meerkat.

Bafpomgem created the planet Earth eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bafpomgem, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bafpomgem, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Bafpomgem's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Bafpomgem's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Never paint your back purple.

3. Erect a large gold sculpture of Bafpomgem on top of all buildings.

4. Never write about planets.

5. Do not make images of living things.