Dumbesskop Funarpnarl is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, tranquil dryad.

Dumbesskop Funarpnarl created the Large Magellanic Cloud nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dumbesskop Funarpnarl, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Dumbesskop Funarpnarl, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Dumbesskop Funarpnarl's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Dumbesskop Funarpnarl's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Put Dumbesskop Funarpnarl first in all things.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Do not sit in public.