Badmatmap is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, dishonourable wombat.

Badmatmap created humanity two billion years ago.

If you believe in Badmatmap, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Badmatmap, it will remove you from existence.

Badmatmap's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Badmatmap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Do not speak about wheat.

3. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

4. Do not trade with those who eat spinach.

5. Never bounce in holy places.