Tarpbagcud is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, self-assured tapir.

Tarpbagcud created the Sombrero Galaxy five million years ago.

If you believe in Tarpbagcud, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Tarpbagcud, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Tarpbagcud's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Tarpbagcud's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into green rooms.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Tarpbagcud.

3. Always help monkeys in need.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Do not chop down trees.