Jatjadwip is a god.
He takes the form of a very large, pitiless slug.
Jatjadwip created a strange quark nine trillion years ago.
If you believe in Jatjadwip, he will look on you favourably.
If you do not believe in Jatjadwip, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.
Jatjadwip's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.
Jatjadwip's Holy Commandments1. Fast once a month.
2. Do not take Jatjadwip's name in vain.
3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.
4. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.
5. Do not eat gooseberries.