Nibbonkgumfod is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, temperamental grasshopper.

Nibbonkgumfod created the universe nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nibbonkgumfod, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Nibbonkgumfod, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Nibbonkgumfod's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Nibbonkgumfod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not skip in public.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Hide if nine cats approach from the east.