Hinnuttjapwee is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, pitiless hydra.

Hinnuttjapwee created a charm quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Hinnuttjapwee, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Hinnuttjapwee, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Hinnuttjapwee's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Hinnuttjapwee's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about cell theory.

2. Do not take Hinnuttjapwee's name in vain.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Retreat if six monkeys approach from the west.