Jenmilvedmigwikrig is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, self-confident cow.

Jenmilvedmigwikrig created dark matter four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jenmilvedmigwikrig, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Jenmilvedmigwikrig, she will be very sad.

Jenmilvedmigwikrig's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Jenmilvedmigwikrig's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Do not bounce in public.

5. Jenmilvedmigwikrig loves mites, so they must be honoured.