Jigwotpag is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, boastful dog.

Jigwotpag created bats four million years ago.

If you believe in Jigwotpag, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Jigwotpag, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Jigwotpag's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Jigwotpag's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never sit in the presence of aardvarks.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.